eu diria que…

- Mr. Samberg, thanks for coming to your performance review.
- No problem.
- So you’re in charge around here, is that fair to say?
- Absolutely, I’m the boss.
- Ok, so take us through the day in the life of a boss.
- Well, the first thing I do is…

Talk to Corporate (Like a boss)
Approve memos (Like a boss)
Lead a workshop (Like a boss)
Remember birthdays (Like a boss)

Direct work flow (Like a boss)
My own bathroom (Like a boss)
Micromanage (Like a boss)
Promote synergy (Like a boss)

Hit on Deborah (Like a boss)
Get rejected (Like a boss)
Swallow sadness (Like a boss)
Send some faxes (Like a boss)

Call a sex line (Like a boss)
Cry deeply (Like a boss)
Demand a refund (Like a boss)
Eat a bagel (Like a boss)

Harassment lawsuit (Like a boss)
No promotion (Like a boss)
Fifth of vodka (Like a boss)
Shit on Deborah’s desk (Like a boss)

Buy a gun (Like a boss)
In my mouth (Like a boss)
Oh, fuck me, I can’t fucking do it, shit!

Pussy out (Like a boss)
Puke on Deborah’s desk (Like a boss)
Jump out the window (Like a boss)
Suck a dude’s dick (Like a boss)

Score some coke (Like a boss)
Crash my car (Like a boss)
Suck my own dick (Like a boss)
Eat some chicken strips (Like a boss)

Chop my balls off (Like a boss)
Black out in the sewer (Like a boss)
Meet a giant fish (Like a boss)
Fuck his brains out (Like a boss)

Turn into a jet (Like a boss)
Bomb the Russians (Like a boss)
Crash into the sun (Like a boss)
Now I’m dead (Like a boss)

- …Uh-huh, so that’s an average day for you then?
- No doubt.
- You chop your balls off and die?
- Hell yeah!
- And I think you said at one point there you suck your own dick?
- Nope.
- I’m pretty sure you did.
- Nah, that ain’t me.
- Ok, well then this has been eye opening for me.
- I’m the boss.
- Yeah, no, I got that, you said it about 400 times.
- I’m the boss.
- Yeah, yeah, I got it.
- I’m the boss.
- No, I heard you, see you later!

LIKE A BOSS!

(eu amo issaqui mas não digo que voltei/volto, porque não sei se, se voltar, vou querer participar de um “mundo” - pra não falar BLOGOSFERA, ew pelamor - de posts pagos e “problogging” e troca formal de links e google ads, enfim, douching em geral. prontofalei. :*)

by yoko ono

Bless you for your anger.
For it is a sign of rising energy.
Direct not to your family, waste not on your enemy.
Transform the energy to versatility
And it will bring you prosperity.

Bless you for your sorrow
For it is a sign of vulnerability.
Share not with your family, direct not to yourself.
Transform the energy to sympathy
And it will bring you love.

Bless you for your greed
For it is a sign of great capacity.
Direct not to your family. Direct not to the world.
Transform the energy to giving.
Give as much as you wish to take,
And you will receive satisfaction.

Bless you for your jealousy
For it is a sign of empathy
Direct not to your family, direct not to your friends.
Transform the energy to admiration
And what you admire
Will become part of your life

Bless you for your fear
For it is a sign of wisdom.
Do not hold yourself in fear.
Transform the energy to flexibility
And you will be free
From what you fear.

Bless you for your search of direction
For it is a sign of aspiration.
Transform the energy to receptivity
And the direction will come to you.

Bless you for the times you see evil.
Evil is energy mishandled and it feeds on your support.
Feed not and it will self-destruct.
Shed light and it will cease to be.

Bless you for the times you feel no love.
Open your heart to life anyway
and in time you will find
love in you.

Bless you, bless you, bless you.
Bless you for what you are.
You are a sea of goodness, a sea of love.
Count your blessings every day for they are your protection
Which stands between you and what you wish not.
Count your curses and they will be a wall
Which stands between you and what you wish.

The world has all that you need
And you have the power
to attract what you wish.
Wish for health, wish for joy.
Remember you are loved.